What Your Birthday Color Says About You

COLORSTROLOGY – WHAT YOUR BIRTHDAY COLOR SAYS ABOUT YOU BY MICHELE BERNHARDT. 

The urge for you to communicate is strong. You have a full range of emotions that need to be expressed. Generous and courageous, you are not afraid to lend a helping hand. It is important for you to stay physically active to avoid feeling moody and disconnected from others. Being by the water, especially the ocean, can be healing. 

Your color is: Cherry Tomato, Pantone 17-1563 (or E34132 in Photoshop speak)

Your personal color helps balance any restlessness you may be feeling. Wearing, meditating or surrounding yourself with your color helps integrate the outgoing side of your personality with the spiritual and quiet side. 

Key words: Expressive, Giving, Communicator 

Compatible birthdays: 5 March, 1 June, 24 December

I always was a fiery one. Not much has told me otherwise. That being said, it makes perfect sense that being by the water, "especially the ocean," will do me tons of calming good.

CASTANO x PORTILLO (#1)

Uncomfortable feat. Abi Portillo by carloscastano

Carlos Castano, "Uncomfortable" (feat. Abi Portillo)

It was soooo hard to keep this under wraps for so long and I've been itching itching itching to tell people about this but I didn't want to spoil the surprise. After all, I am only guesting on his album. But it's a huuuuuge relief to finally be able to! I'm so excited about it!

Carlos asked me to be on his album after he and Abi Rode played at the same gig a few moons ago. One stormy afternoon a couple of moons after that, the song was done and recorded in the span of 4 or 5 hours.

Man, if I could just sing for a bloody living...

Anyway, his new album PERMANENCE is now available to download FOR FREE! He's got the fabulous Julianne on it too. So are y'all gonna listen to and download this biznatch or what? :P

Paper Dolls for Big Girls

There is a used-book store by the place where I buy coffee at work (the one that isn't Starbucks). And when I buy coffee I am, naturally, distracted with all the awesome and VERY CHEAP finds: magazines, coffee table books, art and photography books, pocket books, etc.

When I went today, I found myself a Communication Arts book (I'm 3 years too late for the nerding) and this -- an adult paper doll book!!!!!!!

1. The clothes are fabulous.
2. The characters are extremely amusing! They have back stories and everything! The characters that I scanned are the less risque ones, and the cross-dressing and drag is a little too much for the paper dolls that you have in mind, well, let me tell you - there's more extreme ones.
3. I get to color them in. :D
4. They're paper dolls! 

I know it's a stupid thing to waste money on, but I love it! Let's play paper dolls!

Holding on to the Holden

Given that your high school friends are pretty much the most dependable ones that you're ever going to have; and meeting people after school is fated to be difficult, it absolutely sucks to find out that the ones that you do meet and thought that you did like aren't as great as you thought.

They're selfish, manipulative, narrow-minded, self-imposing, kinda stupid, and are as boring as everybody else. It is disappointing and heartbreaking! Obviously my friends aren't perfect and are flawed in more ways than one, but they certainly aren't stupid. And when people whom you liked and respected turn out to be just another couple of ignorant, obnoxious idiots.... ugh.

Maybe I'm just naive. That, or I held on to the Holden too much for too long. Either way, I've maintained a no-bullshit policy, and I'm the first person to sniff out insincerity of any kind.

On the upside, you realize how invaluable your real friends are, and there's a reason why they've been there for so long.

All That Glitters

I was talking to a friend -- a fellow creative mind and a kindred spirit from the same generation both literally and mentally -- the other day about how we're both so ready to move on from our jobs.

Sure, he's been at his for 2 years I think, and I've been at mine for 6 months, but that's the advantage about being 24, I guess. According to my mother, at least.

Anyway, it was then that someone confirmed with me that one of the occupational hazards of what I'm doing is disillusionment. I was blind-sided by it, too, because hello all I thought I'd be doing is watching Koreanovelas for money.

What I didn't foresee was that it would completely crush every notion of "magic" I had left.

Do you know those insane magician/illusionist/mentalist shows? They're breathtaking and amazing and it's cathartic to not understand some things sometimes, and a bit of a relief in a world where pretty much everyone is stupid, because there's somebody who can do something that you absolutely cannot, and for a brief moment you have someone to genuinely look up to. Well, I learned that these supposedly unique abilities can be taught "anywhere, anytime, to any talent" when I was watching a pile of Israeli format screeners that they were selling to us.

And from there, you realize that even things like the Miss Universe pagaent is political. It was probably naive of me to expect otherwise, and it's not like I absolutely believed in it anyway, but the cold, hard reality didn't hit me until I realized that the rumors of China possibly hosting one of these years was probably the reason why that dim lightbulb of a contestant even made it to 4th runner up.

And as happy and proud as I am for Shamcey, I have my conspiracy theories behind her almost-win as well, which I cannot divulge for the sake of my job. She was clearly the best one there and truly deserved her win, but I guess I'm just too jaded now to think that nothing is ever as genuine as it seems anymore.

Do You Believe in Life on Other Planets?

There is a hilarious and wonderfully crass website that is popular in the Philippines called Tunay na Lalake, or TNL. I'm not going to deny just how immensely I enjoy this shit in all its honesty, grossness and satire.

I mention this because, in light of the fresh bequeathing of privilege and responsibility and general katarayan, I came across this post of Ms. China Universe 2011's web interview a few weeks ago which proves that based on the Tunay na Lalake manifesto, si Miss China Universe 2011 ay isang tunay na lalaki:

Here She Comes

I had to rush to work at 8 this morning to edit the live feed of the Miss Universe pagaent, copy of the program script in hand. Ahhhh, the perks of being in the business is seeing all the intestines of things like this.

Anyway, hitting you with a Howlin' Maggie song called "Miss Universe" because, you know, we like to dress for the occassion.

My Mother and Her Daughter

I came across this article on the Philippine Daily Inquirer (via Facebook). As I browsed through my news feed, I thought it was just another negligible article that my uncle posted. And then I spotted my last name! And the middle name that I share with my mother! And then her name! What the hell?

Of course I clicked it and this is what I read. I've been told tales of how astoundingly beautiful people think she is. I've met older men who, upon discovering that she is in fact my mother, would get that dreamy, nostalgic look on their faces as they look back on their youth and say, "Oh, I used to buy Jingle Magazine because of her." My cinematography teacher in my senior year knew her from when she'd model for him. I've heard stories of how boys would visit her, and how the guests at my grandmother's diner/inn would frustratedly ask her why my mom wouldn't date them (she had dignified reasons).

Read the full article here.

Being my mother's daughter, there was always some pressure to measure up, or at least bear some semblance of kinship. It doesn't help that I look nothing like her, or that I'm twice her waifly petite frame, or that my hair was crazy, and that I look every bit the Godzilla mutation that she isn't. But I guess at 24 years old, being around her for all those years, there's nothing else to do but to be okay with it. Much like the recent childhood-shattering scientific discoveries that the dinosaurs had feathers, I've grown to realize that I have feathers too, and I've grown to be quite comfortable with my skin.

But at 24 years old, I feel like I'm still nowhere near what she had down-pat when she was 24. I'm not meeting any new boys. I'm even going to go as far as saying that they might even be somewhat scared of me.  I haven't done the remarkable thing that will establish my existence with the one thing that I will be remembered for. But in my mother's case, her remarkable thing was something she was born with. The lucky duck.

Instead, I'm sitting behind this computer, typing this out. 

Nevertheless, I am a daughter that is proud of her mother in many ways! And what this is, is circuitously really just her lighting a fire under my ass and telling me to get off it and be great already!

Revival

Well, I haven't seen you in a while!

Since I last dabbled in this page, I've decided to take my hobby towards a more serious direction. And you might wonder how one might do that? Well, I made a Facebook page for it! I'm now managing more things than I need to handle, but I don't know if you're as aware as I am that there are different tiers of information disclosure that correspond with these accounts -- Facebook is exactly what I needed for a comprehensive online portfolio that's easily accessible for maximum exposure; Tumblr is for when you want to share something without having much to say and somehow, someone somewhere is going to feel like you totally just spoke their mind; Blogspot is somewhat the opposite; and Google + is, well.... like "fetch" - it's never really going to happen.

But I've digressed. The Facebook page is over here:
Makeup by Abi Portillo -- The Name on Everyone's Lips
And I have honestly never been more grateful for all those times that people laughed at how my last name sounded like "portfolio." Look at how well that turned out. Ahaha.

Apparently, not everybody thought that I was serious about this. Well, for a long time it was on the back burner, that's true, but I was surprised that people were surprised when I injected a semblance of seriousness to it. Fine.

What they didn't know, I guess, was that I've been booking jobs here and there. The best parts about it is the rush that comes with being in one's element, and of course, the fast cash. HEEH.

But more often than not, I've struggled with people taking me seriously. It's either that, or people in general are just not convinced that they need to pay their makeup artists. Which is a terrible mistake, as far as I'm concerned because we're the ones that are going to either make or break your face. A could-have-been client once took a group-discounted salon booking over me, and I'm sorry to say it, but she did look every bit the 20% that she didn't pay to have her face done. Lesson learned? I sure hope so.

On other occasions, I do take delight in some of the "pro bono" work that I've done. The Hansom video gig was tons of fun, mostly because I got to do both boys' and girls' makeup. AND while they didn't pay me in cash, they did pay me in other kindnesses. :D

The last offer I got maybe one of the best so far:

It's this like this -- tiny complements from people who genuinely believe in you -- that keep me going. Abi Rode has had one outright, random, non-family fan so far, and I treasure that immensely! It's fuel to the fire in my belly.

Needless to say, I'm not going to pass this baby up! Hell yeah, I'd swap a new tattoo for a job! But it's not even the monetary value that matters to me (although I have been saving up for a new tattoo or a fixer-upper. Those bitches are expensive!). Mostly it's the feeling that people recognize your talent and skill, and perceive it up to par as theirs. And this lady is incredibly talented. See for yourself!

Despite the fact that I absolutely hate what I'm doing professionally today, there are so many things to be excited for, and right now, I'm mostly excited about this. :D

Lines are built and rails will carry you past those who would surely bury you

Penguin Prison, "Golden Train"

I went a little nuts this morning trying to look for this song I heard on the radio on my way to work. I couldn't help but notice of the fact that this song sounded like Sam Sparro and BabyDaddy had a... well... a baby, but don't you hate it when you catch the tail-end of the song and there's not much lyrics to take leverage on? Yep. Nevertheless, this is one of the very rare occasions when I'm kinda glad that my god-forsaken CD player doesn't work. Hurrah!  It took me a while and just a teeny tiny shave off of my better judgement, but after some persistence -- Eureka! I found it.

Now dance with me why don'tcha. :D

Now dance with me, why dontcha?

Ah, You Short-Circuit All My Nerves!

I love rainy days! I'm an absolute sucker for delicious and dream cushion tunes, and Smokey Robinson isn't exactly helping. As if this song didn't already make me want to disappear under comforters, his androgynous voice is perfect for whisper-singing between pillows and sheets.

There's a hot-chocolatier Groove Boutique remix to this that I can't find. It's on the Motown Remixed Vol. 1 compilation album with another Smokey Robinson song, "The Tears of a Clown" and the sexiest version of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" I've ever heard (yes, it gets sexier!)

Smokey Robinson, "Quiet Storm"

Soft and warm
A quiet storm
Quiet as when flowers talk at break of dawn,
Break of dawn
A power source
Of tender force
Generatin', radiatin',
Turn me on, turn me on

You short-circuit all my nerves
Promising electric things
You touch me and suddenly there's rainbow rings

Quiet storm, blowin'
Through my life
Oh, quiet storm, blowin'
Through my life
Blow, baby

Windy sigh,
Weaken my
Butterfly caught up in a hurricane,
Hurricane
Lucky me,
I'm better free
Suddenly I'm caught up in your somber rain

Shower me with your sweet love
I will bathe in every drop
Through all the seasons let it pour and never stop

Quiet storm, blowin'
Through my life
Through my life
You're just like a quiet storm, blowin'
Through my life
Through my life
Through my life
Through my life
Through my life
Blowin'
Blowin'
Blowin'
Blowin'

Hail soft storms of love on me
Let them play on my desire
Kiss me softly
Let your lightning light my fire

Quiet storm, blowin'
Through my life
Through my life
You're just like a quiet storm, (blowin')
Blowin', blowin'
(Through my life)
Through my life
Through my life
(Quiet storm, blowin'
Through my life)
Quiet storm, (blowin')
Oh yeah

Shower me with your sweet love
I will bathe in every drop
Through all the seasons let it pour and never stop

Quiet storm, blowin'
Through my life
Through my life
You're just like a quiet storm, (blowin')
Warm and tender
(Through my life)
Oh, through my life
Quiet storm

Kanta Ang Panlaban album launch

It was two Fridays ago that my friends, the Hansom boys, launched their much-awaited album, Kanta ang Panlaban. It was a long-time coming, and I love these guys as both musicians and friends. So when they randomly asked us on Facebook to come wearing fatigue to solidify their Hansom army, I was only more than happy to oblige. 

As it turns out, I was the only one. Haha! Their other fans came wearing Hansom shirts, but being the lone army soldier, I was awarded the opportunity to sing "Mamatay Ka Na" with them, like old times. Except this was their album launch and I know how much this means to them. I'm only too honored to have been invited. :)

Come to their next album launch in a few months to get a CD! But while you wait, you can download the first part of their album here.

The First Fans

While it took me a while to reel from last Thursday's gig, which I have to say was probably one of the top 3 gigs we've ever played, I woke up to this today:

Being the perennially fledgling band that we are, we really just play for fun. Our song-writing process is slow, but we're working on it, and we absolutely enjoy paying homage to the great music that we love. I've taken as a fact that probably 95% of our fanbase is composed of family, friends, and family and friends who have never heard us play but are required by the laws of friendship to enjoy us. Rarely is there a sincere, genuine appreciator of who we are and what we do.

I'm glad to see we might be doing something right. :D

Hurry! Listen Before He Has His People Take It Down

Prince, "Colonized Mind"

Wanna talk about it
Colonized Mind

Upload, the evolution principle
You see a rock on the shore and say
“It’s always been there”

Download, no responsibility
Do what you want, nobody cares

Upload, the master race idea
Genetically disposed to rule the world

Download, future full of isolated
Full of isolated, boys and girls

Upload, the 2 party system
The lesser of 2 dangers,
Illusion of choice

Download, their form of fascism
Nothing really ever changes
You never had a voice

Listen to me one time :

If you look, you’re sure gonna find
Throughout mankind’s history
A Colonized Mind

The one in power makes law
Under which the colonized fall
Without God, it’s just the blind leading the blind

Upload, a joint venture record deal
It’s just another way another man can still sleep
While he’s sticking you with the bill

Download, a temporary acquisition
of fleeting fame and fortune
Nothing to leave in your will
Hey hey hey hey

Upload, a child with no father
Download, no respect for authority
Upload, a child with no mother
Download, a hard time showing love

If you look, you’re sure gonna find
Throughout mankind’s history
A Colonized Mind
The one in power makes law
Under which the colonized fall
Without God : it’s just the blind leading the blind

Total Fitness for the Totally Unfit

I know it just hit June, but look who was in the April issue of Total Fitness magazine!

This was for a piece I did about Pharmaton's Amazing Race media challenge at Misibis Bay, Albay, with the good people of Bridges PR, a few other media folk, and Pharmaton's newest endorsers Derek Ramsay and Karylle.

I realize the irony of me writing for a magazine like Total Fitness, but I also didn't finish 2nd in that race for nothing. :D

Ella Fitzgerald and this pitter ’n patter ’n beatin’ ’n spatterin’ drivin’ me mad

The weather's been crazier than usual in bipolar Manila. At the heaviest point of this afternoon's deluge, I could barely see the Pinoy Big Brother house and the castle in front of my office. 

Today is the exception because I'm new at my job and am impressionable and willing to impress, but on any other day like this, I'd much rather stick to my (literally) old-school practices and stay home, curl up under the my thick, leopard-skin comforter with a movie on. Alas, my comforter is at the dry-cleaners and I am at the office. The alternate is to put on The Ventures' "Sleepwalk" but I've worm that record out.

My sister Ella Fitzgerald is going to preach it for us with a live, more-gorgeous-than-the-studio version of the 1933 song "Stormy Weather," all the way from 1975. Just Ella and Joe Pass' guitar

Ella Fitzgerald feat. Joe Pass, "Stormy Weather"

Here's another flood favorite from the same performance:

Ella Fitzgerald feat. Joe Pass, "Cry Me A River"

Forever Alone

In a few days I will be entering the week which will round off my first month working at ABS-CBN. So far it's been a ride, and is probably one of the biggest accomplishments I've attained for myself, all by myself (i.e. sin nepotism).

So far I haven't run out of things to do, and I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. As a matter of fact, I'm assuming that this is as light of a load as it comes. And so far, I love what I do -- watching screeners of TV shows from all around the world, evaluating them, and putting my recommendations on the table. With all this content, needless to say, I'm getting an education in world cultures without even leaving my desk -- the desk that will pay for the traveling that all this culture education will supplement.

The goal is to hit Europe next year. Numero uno is to be deemed worthy to go on a buying trip with the bosses to Cannes in April and then stay behind maybe a week or two. Dos is to hit it on my own in August with my amigas. Cue belt-tightening sound effects.

The one tiny downside is that I feel like my social life is very slowly but equally surely slipping away. My friends are all either moving away or getting chained somewhere. Now I can't even chat with them online anymore as my lifelines to the outside world (and pretty much everything else) have been blocked at work. And coming from a small team of very busy people, there aren't too many people to talk to here besides the be-subtitled Koreans and the Latin Americans.

You feel me? I know my boy Al Green does.

Al Green, "I'm So Tired of Being Alone"

Amy Winehouse for Fred Perry, Spring/Summer 2011

I'm a bit of an old soul which would explain why more than modern, my tastes have always had a more vintage flair. I'm curvy rather than cutting edge, so I relate better to insane figures and sexy skeeze, and everything from the 1920s to the 1970s. And then the '90s; the '80s are just totally lost on me.

Anyway, her first run was amazing, but the 2nd Amy Winehouse - Fred Perry Spring/Summer 2011 collection is even more fun. It's the same '50s style, but she's incorporated Oriental flavors into it; Hawaiian print has never been hotter.

I want that embroidered sweater so badly!

"Death of Me"

A film by Tasya van Ree
Featuring Amber Heard

Mmmm, noir.

Tagaytay, April 18-20

I don't call myself a photographer, although I do enjoy taking pictures and "capturing moments" often. Especially on my travels. But what's new about that, right? What is the truth in a pretty flower, apart from its perfect face? 

So instead of just the pretty, I've been working on telling stories with the pictures I take. I am an admitted fledgling to the craft, but I've achieved at least the tip of my iceberg goal. 

In case you aren't familiar, here is a sneak preview to my country. A recent trip to Tagaytay, in particular, to celebrate my aunt's birthday. The moon was brilliant one night, and the market was ripe with fruit. Children will do what they need to survive, but not without affording an occasional smile.

Man-made Bitches at Man-made Beaches

For our 2nd annual summer trip, my girls Max, Meg and I hopped on a plane to wreak havoc on Cebu. And wreak havoc, we did with these two unrepentantly getting their freaks on! 

Manila at midnight

A Fine Frenzy, "Lost Things"

Shirley Manson + Elijah Woods, The Kids Are Bored on Sundays

SM and EW for Oliver Peoples' 2010 Collection "Les enfants sennuient le dimanche (The kids are bored on Sundays)"


Directed by Autumn de Wilde

And what a cutie this lady is! <3

I Can't Be Near You; The Light Just Radiates

Hole, "Malibu"

The Lords of Laguna

The family went to a festival in Santa Cruz, Laguna about a week ago to check out their local produce. There's some brilliant stuff over there, a favorite being the shoes from a few towns over; Liliw is the best place for cheap and trendy, but very well-made shoes. I'll take pictures of the pairs that I got in the new blog that I'm planning to birth. Watch out for it!

Sophia, my goddaughter, doing "The Mita," which means her imitating her grandmother. There is "The Abi" also, but that's for another photo.

Soshe, my cousin. He is set to be my godson on May 1st.

A fine Laguna product - University of the Philippines, Los Banos

Arabela's, a quaint cafe whose reputation is inverse in relation to their low ceilings.